Tuesday, July 1, 2014
For the past month or so, I have been doing a little bit of traveling and taking advantage of summer. I was in Los Angeles for a little while, and then I came home (Houston) for a few days, and then I left for Chicago. For those of you who don't know, I was born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago. I lived there for a good 12/13 years of my life until I had no choice but to move. I moved to Texas with no expectations but to live a miserable life and rebel against my father because I was an angsty teenager. Little did I know I would build such amazing relationships here and grow a love for Houston, Texas. I spent years and years after I first moved to Texas wanting to come home to Chicago so terribly. I looked forward to every single summer trip to Chicago, hoping to see all my friends and all of my family. But there was something incredibly different about this year. This year, I didn't really look forward to this place I called home for so long. The people I knew, the places that I spent so much time at as a child...it didn't feel familiar anymore. I have been in Chicago for about a week now, and I have been nothing but uninspired and unmotivated. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing my mother and being able to spend time with my siblings. But the environment around here, it doesn't feel like home to me anymore. Maybe this is all a part of growing up and this is what happens when you learn to develop and change into the human being that you're meant to be. I have a yearning to come home to Houston, Texas. That place has grown on me, and I have been missing the place and the people in it more than anything. I have always been grateful for the family that I have there, along with the amazing friends and the lovely people. But I have grown such a copious amount of love and appreciation for everyone and everything in Houston, Texas. I have grown so incredibly homesick, I'm counting down the days for when this Chicago trip is over. Nothing feels the same to me anymore. The house that I grew up in, the places that I used to explore as a child...it all feels strange and unfamiliar to me. I'm no longer close with the people here anymore, the people that I used to call my close friends. Everyone has moved on to the next chapter of their lives and none of those chapters really have a place for me in it and I'm completely okay with that. This sudden realization and transition has made me realize that home isn't really home anymore. Home is not the place you grew up in. I believe that home is the place that you feel safe, the place where you can walk around freely and be able to feel completely at ease and happy with yourself and the people around you. Home is the place that you run to when you are struggling, the place you run to when you need some peace of mind. Home is no longer here for me, my home is back in Houston, Texas.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Monday, May 12, 2014
I apologize from the bottom of my heart to all of my readers for the lack of posts within the past few weeks. Things have been a little crazy for me, more so emotionally. I'm hitting a point of realization in my life where every decision I make is going to impact my future in some kind of way and it's a lot of stress that I'm trying to get through. I've been happy, don't get me wrong. But it's a different kind of happiness. I've been very nostalgic, my past has been politely making it's way back to say hi. Recently, I saw my father for the first time in over two years. I'm still in shock that I actually saw him, it doesn't feel very real. I just can't believe how much I've been through these past few years...I'm almost overwhelmed with how much I've struggled and made through. All I want is to accomplish my goals, become successful enough to take care of my siblings, my family, the ones who raised me to become the woman that I am today. I feel like I owe so much to society and the world. I want to so badly make a difference and an impact on people's lives. And I know I will, I'm just so scared of the path and the journey that it's going to take to get there. I've been stuck in this block, a creative block, and I'm so desparately trying to get myself out. But today I spoke to my little brother, and god damn I miss him so much it hurts. He was crying to me about how much he hated his life and how hard life was. I was in tears today, the last time I cried this much was when I saw my little sister for the first time in over 10 months. I just wanted to hold my brother and tell him how beautiful life can be, and how things can get so much brighter and easier. But I realize that my little brother may never have the opportunity to live a normal, happy life because of his condition. It broke my heart even more to just think of that possibility. So I spent some time thinking today...I'm going to do everything in my power to accomplish my goals, become successful in what I love to do and use that money to get custody of my siblings, raise them, and help them live a beautiful, happy life that they deserve. That has been my number one goal since the beginning, but all of this pain, all of this anger I feel...I will use it to fuel my energy and dedication. I'm sorry for the rant, I just get very tired and emotional sometimes. It's rare, actually. But after all, I am human. I hope you lovely readers understand. I promise you more things will be coming your way! I will be flying to Los Angeles next month and I will be in Chicago in July! Which means...photoshoots and more music! At least that's something to look forward to. That's something I need to remember, there's always a positive to life no matter how negative life can get sometimes. I love you all so much for still keeping up to date with my blog and reading it even though I've been terrible lately. Blessed be.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Spell Byron Bay, Nasty Gal, Wildfox, Novella Royale, and much more. She also appreciates the cheaper side for basics such as Forever 21 and H&M. If she could put together an outfit from any store, it would be from Forever 21 because you can get so much more for your money! As the years have gone by, modeling has become more of a hobby for her. She's been very focused with her shop, Tipsy Gypsy, which just recently launched! Tipsy Gypsy is filled with many boho street style and handmade articles and there are so many unique items. There are things from flower crowns, to accessories, to swimsuits and cardigans - you name it and they've got it, all imported from all over the world and made just to fit you!
SHOP TIPSY GYPSY BY CLICKING HERE!
Twitter and Instagram to keep up to date with her modeling, her lovely face, and Tipsy Gypsy!
Twitter and Instagram to keep up to date with her modeling, her lovely face, and Tipsy Gypsy!
Monday, April 14, 2014
Saturday, April 12, 2014
As human beings, we spend our days going through a routine. We wake up, we go to work or school, we spend our days being tired and looking forward to the future. But so many of us fail to realize that the future can happen right NOW. Anything we wish for the future can happen at this very moment. We spend so much time being tired and worn out, we forget to appreciate the life we are given and we take advantage of it. There's so much of the world to see, so many people to meet and as humans we seem to forget that there's so much more to the world than our phones, our houses, and our jobs. I've been going through a little rut, feeling uninspired and stressing myself out over the most little things that shouldn't stress me out. One morning, I woke up and I was thinking to myself, "Goodness, I just wish to be the positive person that I am meant to be. I want to appreciate my life and open my eyes to the experiences and limits that are possible." And a month later, I'm feeling this burst of energy that I haven't felt in so long. I called up old family members I haven't spoken to in a long time and told them how much I love them. I became closer with my friends and decided to reach out to them. I continued to tell people that I love them every day and I grew to become nicer and less bitter. I'm letting myself having fun and I'm letting myself let go for once. I've been so uptight and secluded from the world, I've forgotten the feeling of just letting go. Surprisingly after a week of being happy and filled with all this lovely energy, my baby sister surprised me with a visit. Now keep in mind, I haven't seen her in over 10 months. Getting the opportunity to see her was so incredibly amazing, and it made me realize how grateful I am to get to experience the opportunities that I am given. The point of this post was to let my readers remember to be grateful for the little things in life. With all the sudden, tragic deaths that have been publicly displayed via the media - you begin to realize how short life really is, you never know when it will be taken away from you. So go on and spend time with your family, tell your parents that you are thankful and that you love them. Tell your friends that you appreciate the time they spend with you. Laugh a lot and smile as much as you can. Let love in and see what it does for you and your soul. Do the things that you love to do because you never know when you'll never get the chance to do them again. Be grateful for this life you are given. You have so much potential and opportunity. Step out of the box, stand up for yourself, and look for those opportunities.